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Life Scripts - psychological patterns of behaviour

Scripts learning process

We learn from an early age to survive in the environment in which we are growing up. This process has to continue throughout our lives, when we acquire knowledge and skills, enabling us to adapt to the environment which we live in.

Process of learning from caregivers is extremely import_ant for surviving thus baby absorbs everything and as time goes by, repeats learned patterns.

In that way internal life script's ("recipes" for life, imprints) are formed.

Life script's

We can describe life script_s as programs about who we are and how we ought to behave. They arise early in our lives, in relationships with meaningful adults- parents, caregivers, loved ones. They are like internal scenarios, based on what those import_ant for our developmental needs people say, how they treat us, but also how they behave.

They convey basic attitudes to ourselves, internal images of others, ideas of what the relationships are and what we can expect from them.

Repeatability of these statements, verbally and by body language of our caregivers also creates in us and perpetuates the image we have of ourselves. This happens at the earliest stage of life by the age of five.

Family script's

Often as a result of this process of "imprinting" we have accumulated the knowledge and experience of generations.

Unconscious script_s are created in the history of the particular family, as an answer to an import_ant or difficult events.

Unconscious messages, which were taken over from the previous generations, are passed down to the next one. This could happen because of the fact that these strategies are not conscious, and haven’t been subjected to rational analysis.

Patters that bring suffering

Not everything that we have learned because it prevailed and was perpetuated in our family is healthy and helpful.

When automatic, unaware patterns of behaviour, taken from the family, bring suffering, they can damage our lives as well as lives of others and put a strain on relationships with others, including relationship with ourselves.

Every kind of repetitiveness in our behaviour shows us the existence of a pattern.

Each one of us experience in her or his lives that certain behaviours, internal statements are repeated, for example. "I can never talk about my feelings, open up", "Once again I unjustly criticized this person "," Again, I could not get involved with someone in a relationship and I broke up".

Reoccurrence of something shows that we act accordingly to an internal pattern. Pattern that begins to unfold outside of our consciousness.

Particularly destructive patterns occur in dysfunctional families, because parents carry huge, unconscious injuries, dysfunctions and emotional disorders acquired in their own families.

Usually we inflict pain on others, because we have been hurt and "carry "this pain/suffering unconsciously and pass it on to others.

Especially when we escape from realization that we suffered in our childhood, trying not to think about it, or forget it, even convincing ourselves that nothing bad has happened to us, when we were children.

Awareness is the key

Unless we become aware of how we think and how we react emotionally and how we act on it, we will unconsciously pass on to others what we do not know about ourselves.

How to break through?

Ask yourself: Is this what I really want to do, or do it because I learned this from my parents, the social environment in which I grew up? Am I doing something because I ought to, Am I hurting others? Am I still doing things I do not want to?

Look at what kind of patterns you repeat in your life, regardless hurt they cause to others? Which behaviours arrest your development, also spiritual?

Which behaviours trap you in wrongdoing?

We can only be independent of our traumatic past if our emotions, thoughts, behaviours respond to and reflect on what is happening "here and now", not repeating what we have learned "there and then".

Only when we uncover a pattern, we can do something with it. Especially if this pattern is responsible for disturbance in our lives and relationships.

We can and must try to change it, so as not to perpetuate suffering further.

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You need not, in fact cannot, teach an acorn to grow into an oak tree, but when given a chance, its intrinsic potentialities will develop. Similarly, the human individual, given a chance, tends to develop his particular human potentialities.

Karen Horney

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